Running. Billions of people around the world run as part of their exercise routine and I have recently become one of them.
I am currently in Richmond, VA to participate in the Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10K, and I am wondering why, oh WHY, did this seem like a good idea?!?!? I am sure it will be fine and I will finish with very little issues because I am a new fitter version of myself. But lets be honest, I run because I know that it is a part of a good fitness routine, not because I find it to be fun. In my opinion, running should be reserved for those moments when someone with a chainsaw or a machete (or something equally threatening)is chasing you! I will never understand how a person can run for over 26 miles to compete in a full marathon, let alone why. My friend recently asked a runner what she thinks of for those 26 miles and the response was "anything and everything." Ummmm.... personally, all I think of when I run is when I can stop. If I am on the treadmill the clock is my arch nemesis because it seems that I look at it every 4-8 seconds! I feel like I am DYING and the damn clock ISN'T MOVING!
Beyond that, I sincerely believe that the treadmill is little more than a glorified sniper trap. Running is more than just physical, its also mental and therefore you need to be in the right mindset to be successful. Just the other day, I started off on a bad note when my ipod tried to attack me and leapt off of the treadmill and tried to trip me up by hitting the running pad and flying underneath of my feet. Of course I watched it as it went and in my embarrassment I almost turned to go after it..... With the treadmill STILL GOING 5 ½ MPH!!!!! Luckily before I got myself killed I realized what I was setting myself up for and stopped the machine before tucking my tail and running for my ipod that was ejected off the back of my treadmill. To say the least, this was not the best day of running I have ever experienced.
At the end of the day we all know that running has its benefits. I run because I do believe it is good for me. Friend or foe?? Well, the jury is still out but I will say that sometimes you have to work with your enemy to obtain your goal so I guess I will be running into the sunset one way or the other!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
After six months...
Well, from this point forward I will not have any tremendous forward insight. I just wrapped up month 6 a couple days ago so from here on out you will get to hear about these things as they happen!
After month 6 I was down a total of 63lbs! WOOT! I got into double digit weight loss again this month and I feel AWESOME!
Challenges this month-
Everyone needs a diet buddy- So last month (month 5) was tough! I was celebrating and it affected my diet in a very negative way. I was frustrated and could feel my resolve starting to waver. I was justifying a cheat here and a cheat there. Remember when I said that when you have a craving you need to give it a few days to see if it resolves on its own and THEN allow yourself a small treat if it doesn't just go away? Well, yeah.... I was not living by my own rules! I would get up on my weigh in mornings and hope for the best but I kept being disappointed by my lack of progress. (You might be wondering why I am still talking about month 5 when this is CLEARLY supposed to be about month 6.... keep reading) Well, it was not until Kyle said one morning, "well, you haven't been sticking to your diet like you were before." I was so pissed! Who was he to tell ME I haven't been dieting?!?! I don't see HIM dieting! I left the house so mad at him! That night I went home and said, "I might not have appreciated your delivery... but your point had merit." A full day of stewing can bring great clarity. My point is this.... surround yourself with people or at least someone who will call you out on your BS. Because Kyle was not afraid to say what he KNEW I would not want to hear, it brought me back to reality. Justification is the enemy of weight loss. Sure.... its just one cookie, or just one drink, or just one... WAIT! Didn't we talk about this before?!?!? You have to STOP the cycle. These are the moments when you realize that your weight issues have very little to do with the food and way more to do with your resolve, emotions, and self control. How's that for a smack of reality?!
Lifestyle Change- You have heard it before. "its not a diet, it is a lifestyle change." But what the heck does that mean? You start dieting and your stomach is growling and trying to tell you that you are dying of starvation, you are grumpy and starting to understand why those models always look so pissy.... they are HUNGRY, and you are wondering if being a few sizes smaller is REALLY worth skipping 50 cent wing night at the local bar with your friends! (Mmmm wings...) Every day is a challenge to make the right decisions and to tell yourself no. Then one day you are standing in the line at the grocery store and you realize you are looking at the "Cooking Light" magazine instead of drooling all over the candy display. "Hmmm... that is weird," you think. You show up to work and some big wig is in town and you find out that you are going to have a lunch meeting. You show up at the restaurant, open the menu, and while they are snacking on deep fried pickles and beef nachos you talk and laugh and sip your water. Then you order a "greek salad with grilled chicken and please hold the croutons and can I also get the dressing on the side." All of a sudden you realize that not only did you not check the menu online before going out, but you totally skipped the cheeseburger section of the menu and when the waitress asked if you would like a side of fries you simply said, "no thanks" instead of wanting to scream, "if I wanted fries I would have ordered FRIES!" Then you realize that you have experienced a lifestyle change. You are no longer dieting.... this is just how you eat now. It is an amazing feeling and it is the moment that you realize that you are now prepared for when the time comes for you to choose your hard by maintaining your weight loss. You go GIRL! (Or guy...) Break out an ice cold glass of water with lemon and CELEBRATE! Look in the mirror and welcome the new you, to the rest of your life!
Boredom- You will become bored of your routine... face it and prepare for it. For me, I am a pretty inventive cook but even for me I got burned out from making so much chicken and turkey. Just try to be creative. This is where you need to challenge yourself, especially if you do not usually enjoy cooking. If you are like me you will begin to feel the need to kick it up a notch. Though I have not discussed physical activity or working out very much, it is an important part of this process. And when you hit the plateau it is a good opportunity to change some part of what you are doing. You eat the same calories every day, do the same exercises. You need to start mixing it up a little! Your body responds more slowly if you do the exact same things day in and day out so plan to change your routine from time to time to keep it fresh and new for the best results.
After month 6 I was down a total of 63lbs! WOOT! I got into double digit weight loss again this month and I feel AWESOME!
Challenges this month-
Everyone needs a diet buddy- So last month (month 5) was tough! I was celebrating and it affected my diet in a very negative way. I was frustrated and could feel my resolve starting to waver. I was justifying a cheat here and a cheat there. Remember when I said that when you have a craving you need to give it a few days to see if it resolves on its own and THEN allow yourself a small treat if it doesn't just go away? Well, yeah.... I was not living by my own rules! I would get up on my weigh in mornings and hope for the best but I kept being disappointed by my lack of progress. (You might be wondering why I am still talking about month 5 when this is CLEARLY supposed to be about month 6.... keep reading) Well, it was not until Kyle said one morning, "well, you haven't been sticking to your diet like you were before." I was so pissed! Who was he to tell ME I haven't been dieting?!?! I don't see HIM dieting! I left the house so mad at him! That night I went home and said, "I might not have appreciated your delivery... but your point had merit." A full day of stewing can bring great clarity. My point is this.... surround yourself with people or at least someone who will call you out on your BS. Because Kyle was not afraid to say what he KNEW I would not want to hear, it brought me back to reality. Justification is the enemy of weight loss. Sure.... its just one cookie, or just one drink, or just one... WAIT! Didn't we talk about this before?!?!? You have to STOP the cycle. These are the moments when you realize that your weight issues have very little to do with the food and way more to do with your resolve, emotions, and self control. How's that for a smack of reality?!
Lifestyle Change- You have heard it before. "its not a diet, it is a lifestyle change." But what the heck does that mean? You start dieting and your stomach is growling and trying to tell you that you are dying of starvation, you are grumpy and starting to understand why those models always look so pissy.... they are HUNGRY, and you are wondering if being a few sizes smaller is REALLY worth skipping 50 cent wing night at the local bar with your friends! (Mmmm wings...) Every day is a challenge to make the right decisions and to tell yourself no. Then one day you are standing in the line at the grocery store and you realize you are looking at the "Cooking Light" magazine instead of drooling all over the candy display. "Hmmm... that is weird," you think. You show up to work and some big wig is in town and you find out that you are going to have a lunch meeting. You show up at the restaurant, open the menu, and while they are snacking on deep fried pickles and beef nachos you talk and laugh and sip your water. Then you order a "greek salad with grilled chicken and please hold the croutons and can I also get the dressing on the side." All of a sudden you realize that not only did you not check the menu online before going out, but you totally skipped the cheeseburger section of the menu and when the waitress asked if you would like a side of fries you simply said, "no thanks" instead of wanting to scream, "if I wanted fries I would have ordered FRIES!" Then you realize that you have experienced a lifestyle change. You are no longer dieting.... this is just how you eat now. It is an amazing feeling and it is the moment that you realize that you are now prepared for when the time comes for you to choose your hard by maintaining your weight loss. You go GIRL! (Or guy...) Break out an ice cold glass of water with lemon and CELEBRATE! Look in the mirror and welcome the new you, to the rest of your life!
Boredom- You will become bored of your routine... face it and prepare for it. For me, I am a pretty inventive cook but even for me I got burned out from making so much chicken and turkey. Just try to be creative. This is where you need to challenge yourself, especially if you do not usually enjoy cooking. If you are like me you will begin to feel the need to kick it up a notch. Though I have not discussed physical activity or working out very much, it is an important part of this process. And when you hit the plateau it is a good opportunity to change some part of what you are doing. You eat the same calories every day, do the same exercises. You need to start mixing it up a little! Your body responds more slowly if you do the exact same things day in and day out so plan to change your routine from time to time to keep it fresh and new for the best results.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
After five months...
Ahh so month five.... This was the hardest month of all. I felt the repercussions of my choices during months 3 and 4. I hit my first plateau and I hit it hard. I am lucky because I had lost enough weight already to keep me committed to the goal. It is hard to stick with it when you are working hard and eating right and not seeing the results. But just when you want to give up and eat a piece of cake or a big bowl of pasta, as yourself this- Will this in any way help me reach my goal? No is the ONLY honest answer you can allow yourself. Remember when I said that dieting is not easy and that dieting is not fun? This is when that is more true than ever! If it was easy EVERYONE would be skinny! So show yourself that things have changed and stick to the plan!
At the end of month 5 I was down a total of 53lbs. This means I lost less than 4lbs in the whole month! For that matter.... I fluctuated up and down within those 4lbs all month and it was frustrating, but I was still headed in the right direction!
Challenges of this month:
Sticking with it- The further you get into your diet the harder it is to keep dieting. Not because it is not working, but because it is not fun. (Hey I told you I was going to tell you the truth!) But do not let that put you off or scare you. Not everything in life will be fun, but things can still be rewarding! If you are like me you might hit a plateau around this time.... just know that if you stay the course you will break through that glass ceiling and it will be EVEN MORE rewarding than you could have imagined!! (See month 6 for proof)
Water- So, I know that I mentioned I was drinking alot of water previously, but this is about the time when I stopped enjoying it. I average at least 2 Liters of water a day and I knew at some point I would get tired of it and boy did I ever!!!! One day it was like I was drinking sewage instead of water. Can you see the face you are making at that thought??? Just imagine thinking it while ACTUALLY drinking water! Yuck is right! I have no idea what changed, but one day I could barely choke down a glass of water, let alone several liters! I am personally convinced that this is is why I only lost 3.5lbs this month. Remember that your body cannot function at its optimal level without being hydrated. Also remember that by the time you are thirsty your body is already dehydrated. So get that pitcher out and DRINK AWAY people!!!!
I got engaged! WOOT WOOT!!!!- (OK, now that I got that out...)Now, you might not get engaged while you are dieting, but SOMETHING will come up. That is how life is.... Ups and Downs all the time! Those ups and downs can lead us "fluffy" people to stuff our faces. Because lets be honest.... you don't get fat if you hate eating! Our weight issues are intrinsically linked to our emotions, whether they are good or bad makes no difference. So however you justify it, "Lets celebrate! Lets go to dinner!" "I am so sad, I need some ice cream!" "I am so stressed at work, I need some beers and wings": STOP! I know the temptation, I lived the temptation, I SURVIVED the temptation! You can too! Just remember... you have to choose your hard.... Would you rather be fat or losing weight? It really is that simple....
At the end of month 5 I was down a total of 53lbs. This means I lost less than 4lbs in the whole month! For that matter.... I fluctuated up and down within those 4lbs all month and it was frustrating, but I was still headed in the right direction!
Challenges of this month:
Sticking with it- The further you get into your diet the harder it is to keep dieting. Not because it is not working, but because it is not fun. (Hey I told you I was going to tell you the truth!) But do not let that put you off or scare you. Not everything in life will be fun, but things can still be rewarding! If you are like me you might hit a plateau around this time.... just know that if you stay the course you will break through that glass ceiling and it will be EVEN MORE rewarding than you could have imagined!! (See month 6 for proof)
Water- So, I know that I mentioned I was drinking alot of water previously, but this is about the time when I stopped enjoying it. I average at least 2 Liters of water a day and I knew at some point I would get tired of it and boy did I ever!!!! One day it was like I was drinking sewage instead of water. Can you see the face you are making at that thought??? Just imagine thinking it while ACTUALLY drinking water! Yuck is right! I have no idea what changed, but one day I could barely choke down a glass of water, let alone several liters! I am personally convinced that this is is why I only lost 3.5lbs this month. Remember that your body cannot function at its optimal level without being hydrated. Also remember that by the time you are thirsty your body is already dehydrated. So get that pitcher out and DRINK AWAY people!!!!
I got engaged! WOOT WOOT!!!!- (OK, now that I got that out...)Now, you might not get engaged while you are dieting, but SOMETHING will come up. That is how life is.... Ups and Downs all the time! Those ups and downs can lead us "fluffy" people to stuff our faces. Because lets be honest.... you don't get fat if you hate eating! Our weight issues are intrinsically linked to our emotions, whether they are good or bad makes no difference. So however you justify it, "Lets celebrate! Lets go to dinner!" "I am so sad, I need some ice cream!" "I am so stressed at work, I need some beers and wings": STOP! I know the temptation, I lived the temptation, I SURVIVED the temptation! You can too! Just remember... you have to choose your hard.... Would you rather be fat or losing weight? It really is that simple....
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Months three and four- The Holdays!
You might be wondering why these two months got grouped together... It is because the holiday season covered these two months of my diet! I am going to discuss them together since I learned about and overcame (or not) the same obstacles for these 2 months!
Month 3-
During month 3 I upped my total weight loss to 40lbs! I had reached my first mini goal and felt AWESOME! However, this covered Thanksgiving which obviously posed its own challenges for me and my diet. We flew to New York to spend Turkey Day with Kyle's family and had a great time! But have I mentioned that Kyle's family is Italian?? They LOOOOOVE their pasta! And lets be real.... I do too! But that is part of what got me into this mess in the first place! So We got some apples and yogurt as that is my standard breakfast and I vowed to not over indulge in anything. Shockingly, IT WORKED!!! I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted... but in a very small portion. It was the first holiday that I can remember actually being able to see some of my plate behind all of the food! Instead of two heaping spoonfuls of green bean casserole (with loads of cheese and fried onions... YUMMY!), I just allowed myself 2 tablespoons. Not only did I still eat what I wanted and felt full at the end of it all, but I did not experience the food coma I usually felt at the end of a holiday meal. HOT DAMN! It seemed like I was really on to something here!
Well, a couple weeks went by and I finished up month four-
Now I was down a total of 49.5lbs and really starting to look different. (I know what you are thinking.... you looked different IMMEDIATELY! I know that I did... but to me it was this month that I realized I was getting a nice waist back!) I tackled Christmas with the same plan that I tackled Thanksgiving with and all went well. It was challenging because now I was at home with my mom and all of the comfort foods I have known my whole life! Mom got me all the fruits I requested and did her best to make it easy on me, but sometimes the smell of sausage made me want to throw myself through the kitchen window! (Yes, expect to still have cravings even 4 months into your diet!) During this time we celebrated Christmas and New Years which also covered our engagement! Exciting, ABSOLUTELY! Did it lead to cheating? Absolutely.
These two months posed more challenges for some obvious reasons.... the ones I listed above are the obvious ones. The biggest challenge that I did not expect during the holidays was the effect that it had on me when my plan worked. This whole time I have been dieting and waiting for the fallout when all of a sudden I hit a plateau and I stop losing. I went through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years and I was STILL LOSING! Why? Because I stuck to my plan! Why was this a challenge you ask? Well.... this is when I realized that my "unattainable goal" was not so unattainable after all. The minute that you realize that you can eat what you want, as long as it is in moderation, and still lose weight, that is when a light bulb goes off in your head. For me it came at the end of month 3, for you it might be sooner or later than that.... but you will KNOW when it happens. The problem with that, is that after that realization it is very hard to stick to your diet 100%. It is working, your diet and exercise is paying off, but even when you are allowing yourself to indulge you are STILL LOSING! Your mind says, "well I can be really strict with myself and lose LOTS of weight. But if I slack off and eat what I want I can still lose more than I used to." There is no version of shutting yourself up quite like biting the head off the cookie.... but you HAVE GOT to find a way to silence that thought! This is NOT the time to slack up! Now it is time to put the hammer down and FOCUS on the long term goal! If you start slacking up now you will never reach your final goal!!!! So man up and ask for support from someone, hell, ask for support from me! But get people on your side and remove the temptations so that you can get re-committed to the plan.
Month 3-
During month 3 I upped my total weight loss to 40lbs! I had reached my first mini goal and felt AWESOME! However, this covered Thanksgiving which obviously posed its own challenges for me and my diet. We flew to New York to spend Turkey Day with Kyle's family and had a great time! But have I mentioned that Kyle's family is Italian?? They LOOOOOVE their pasta! And lets be real.... I do too! But that is part of what got me into this mess in the first place! So We got some apples and yogurt as that is my standard breakfast and I vowed to not over indulge in anything. Shockingly, IT WORKED!!! I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted... but in a very small portion. It was the first holiday that I can remember actually being able to see some of my plate behind all of the food! Instead of two heaping spoonfuls of green bean casserole (with loads of cheese and fried onions... YUMMY!), I just allowed myself 2 tablespoons. Not only did I still eat what I wanted and felt full at the end of it all, but I did not experience the food coma I usually felt at the end of a holiday meal. HOT DAMN! It seemed like I was really on to something here!
Well, a couple weeks went by and I finished up month four-
Now I was down a total of 49.5lbs and really starting to look different. (I know what you are thinking.... you looked different IMMEDIATELY! I know that I did... but to me it was this month that I realized I was getting a nice waist back!) I tackled Christmas with the same plan that I tackled Thanksgiving with and all went well. It was challenging because now I was at home with my mom and all of the comfort foods I have known my whole life! Mom got me all the fruits I requested and did her best to make it easy on me, but sometimes the smell of sausage made me want to throw myself through the kitchen window! (Yes, expect to still have cravings even 4 months into your diet!) During this time we celebrated Christmas and New Years which also covered our engagement! Exciting, ABSOLUTELY! Did it lead to cheating? Absolutely.
These two months posed more challenges for some obvious reasons.... the ones I listed above are the obvious ones. The biggest challenge that I did not expect during the holidays was the effect that it had on me when my plan worked. This whole time I have been dieting and waiting for the fallout when all of a sudden I hit a plateau and I stop losing. I went through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years and I was STILL LOSING! Why? Because I stuck to my plan! Why was this a challenge you ask? Well.... this is when I realized that my "unattainable goal" was not so unattainable after all. The minute that you realize that you can eat what you want, as long as it is in moderation, and still lose weight, that is when a light bulb goes off in your head. For me it came at the end of month 3, for you it might be sooner or later than that.... but you will KNOW when it happens. The problem with that, is that after that realization it is very hard to stick to your diet 100%. It is working, your diet and exercise is paying off, but even when you are allowing yourself to indulge you are STILL LOSING! Your mind says, "well I can be really strict with myself and lose LOTS of weight. But if I slack off and eat what I want I can still lose more than I used to." There is no version of shutting yourself up quite like biting the head off the cookie.... but you HAVE GOT to find a way to silence that thought! This is NOT the time to slack up! Now it is time to put the hammer down and FOCUS on the long term goal! If you start slacking up now you will never reach your final goal!!!! So man up and ask for support from someone, hell, ask for support from me! But get people on your side and remove the temptations so that you can get re-committed to the plan.
After two months...
After two months I had lost a total of 26.5lbs! So exciting!!! I could see a difference and felt HOT again! I was seeing big numbers each week and I was working hard to make the right choices with my food and trying to stay active with riding. Here are a few of the challenges that I faced during month two:
Cravings- I cannot begin to explain the cravings you will feel. They come on fast and they come on HARD! I am not someone who has ever really had major cravings but starting in month 2 I sure did! Imagine the worst pregnancy cravings and them multiply that my a million. All I can say is STAY STRONG!!! But LOTS of sugar free gum to pacify your cravings and drink lots of water.
Willpower- Now is when your will power will be tested. Sure, you got through the first month, you lost some weight and that is AWESOME! But do you have the resolve to stick with it? YES YOU DO! Remember the results you have seen, they will come slowly but you just have to put the hammer down and dedicate yourself to changing your life! We all have our own reasons, for me it was wanting to look good when I get married, wanting to be able to a)have kids and b) actually be able to play with them, and wanting my body to stop hurting so much from the sheer pressure of the extra pounds I was carrying around with me all the time! What is your reason? Now is the time to figure it out. And don't set goals like, "my 10 year reunion." That is simply too short term! What happens if you get to your goal for the reunion and then you fall off the wagon and gain 30lbs and then you run into Miss Prom Queen circa 1999 (or 2009 or 1989 or 1979)?? All of that hard work would have been for nothing! Look at the bigger picture and decide why you want to do this for yourself.
Cheating- Yes, this goes hand in hand with will power but this topic is so vital that I feel it deserves some special attention. Cheating will happen. If you are new to this then you might be shaking your head and saying, "not for me it won't! I am too strong for that!" Trust me and know that I am saying this with all the love in the world when I say, yes it will and you are not too strong for it... no one is! Allow me to share a comical and sad story with you....
During this point of my life I was bringing lunch to work almost every day. On this particular day, however, I forgot my lunch and decided to go to Subway. That is a good decision for those "break the glass" moments. (I hate to sound like a Subway and Biggest Loser advertisement, but the fresh fit meals really are great. A 6" turkey sub on wheat with apples and a bottle of water for around 300 calories? SOLD!) So I go and I order my food and while they are bagging up my sandwich I walk to the fridge and get my apples and water out, pay and head out the door. My plan was to make a phone call so I thought I would just sit in the car to talk and eat. So as I am eating my sandwich and talking on the phone to my mom I reach in the bag for a napkin and to my absolute HORROR...... there is a COOKIE IN MY BAG! A FRESH BAKED COOKIE!!! Oh my goodness! What kind of A-hole puts a freakin cookie in your bag without asking if you want it?!?!? Didn't they see that I ordered off the FRESH FIT MENU?!?! If I wanted a cookie I would have ordered it!!! (Obviously I am still a little traumatized by the "cookie incident." Let me just tell you, there is no test of willpower quite like a warm chocolate chip cookie. I put the cookie to the side and went on with my sandwich. I thought about it while I was talking to my mom and decided I would take it back to work to give to my pregnant friend. Pregnant people love cookies, right? Well, so do dieting people. And you might not have heard your food speak to you before, but 6 weeks in and 20lbs down and that cookie is BEGGING to be part of your meal. How do you silence the cookie??? You bite its damn head off.... that's how! And that is EXACTLY what happened! I took a big bite out of that cookie and then chucked the rest of it right out the window!!!! Judging from the look on a nearby woman's face, I must have looked like a lunatic! After all, I just threw out a perfectly good cookie! Who does that?! I do... that's who! I knew that one bite was not going to kill me or throw me off my plan completely... but I knew that I did not have the willpower to only take one bite. So I chose to remove the temptation. (Remember the lesson from last month??? It still holds true!)
Moral of the story- Cut yourself some slack! It takes time to retrain your stomach and your brain. When you REALLY crave something.... give it a few days to see if it will pass and if it doesn't then give yourself a bite of whatever it is. It is hard to limit yourself to one bite of anything, so if you are not strong enough then it is best to avoid it all together. But I have found that if I am really craving something I am more likely to binge if I resist it for too long. But do not let that one bite turn into 2 and then 10 and then "well I will just have a cheat day." Stay on track and REMEMBER to focus on the goal!
Monday, March 22, 2010
After one month....
NEWS FLASH- Dieting sucks. I know that I mentioned this before... but seriously... it is not fun at all. However, it is incredibly rewarding. Here is a month one recap-
So after one month I lost 14lbs! WHOOOO HOOOO!!!! I was super excited to be on my way to being a skinnier and healthier version of me! I started riding horses again and was really enjoying myself. It was a workout without thinking of the work. I have ridden horses my whole life but had to take a break to be part of "corporate America." Or so I thought!! As it turns out... you really can make time for anything that you want to. I certainly used to have time to go out to the bar with my friends, so I just re-prioritized things in my life and made sure that there was time available for the things that are important to me. No more excuses!!!! That first month wasn't all rosey tho! Here are some things I learned and challenges I had to overcome-
Dieting- Yes this seems like an obvious challenge, I know. But when you have really committed to losing the weight, it is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one.
"No"- Learning to tell yourself "no" is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced! As a fluffy girl I knew what I was doing (or so I thought) and I was going to make the decisions that I wanted to make. And if that meant eating 1 or 2 (or 5... but who's counting, right?) Krispy Kreme donuts, so be it! I am the master of my own destiny and the master of my own waist line. (Or so I thought....)As hard as this step is... STICK WITH IT! Do not surround yourself with people who will try to lead you astray.... right now you need all the support you can get. If start out cheating, you will NEVER see the results that you want to see!
Caffeine Hangover- Yeah that's right. I gave up all caffeine cold turkey. I do not drink coffee often so soda was my staple. I could easily drink 6 cans a day.... while at work! Let alone if I had some at home! This was a choice that I made and was not suggested by my Dr. But I know that caffeine can lend itself to cravings and I did not want any part of that! I will say that there were moments that I felt like a drug addict. One of my co-workers would pop the top on a can and it would send me into a frenzy! I made BBQ sauce one night and wanted to use just a tiny bit of diet soda for flavor so I had Kyle buy me one bottle so I could use that. After all, I didn't want extra cans floating around! When I opened that bottle it was like the sky opened up and I could hear the angels singing. (Apparently dieting can also make you mildly crazy.) As I am prone to having mental battles with myself, I started the inner dialog. "Just put the cap back on it and walk away." I was successful, I did that, but I could not stop thinking about that damn soda sitting on my kitchen counter! It was a personal challenge to not drink it. Then I realized that the challenge was not ignoring the soda. The challenge was being comfortable pouring the soda out. You have not made a lifestyle change yet.... so cut yourself some slack and do not surround yourself with impossible temptations. Does that mean don't go to lunch? No- but that brings us to the next topic.
Eating out- Scary.... very scary. Since we know that in real life you cannot plan for EVERYTHING... here is what you do in real life- If you are going out to lunch with friends, work or on a date, set the place in advance and look at their menu online to decide what the best choice would be for you and your diet. Do not be afraid to be picky. Ask for your salad with dressing on the side and no croutons. You think they care? No! Order things that are grilled as often as possible and instead of heavy sauces ask that they use herbs. You still get great flavor but without needless calories. I also suggest going into these places chewing a piece of gum, this pacifies the desire to chew and it also keeps you from grabbing at the appetizers the evil non-dieters might order.
The worst and the start
Yeah so what kind of weight loss blog would this be without PICTURES?!?!?!
The picture with Brewtus shows me at my biggest. From that point I lost 10 lbs and that is where I started with this journey. The pic of Kyle and I at Disney shows me just days before I started dieting for real! Since there were several months between the first 10 and then starting again, I am not counting those in any of my totals.
My Choice
When I saw my fat Dr. the first time, he told me he wanted me to eat 800 calories a day for the first month. My jaw hit the ground and all I could think was, "I am pretty sure I had that for lunch yesterday!" He provided me with a list of foods to eat and foods to avoid. He also taught me a few new things about my diet and what I should be doing as well as a very simple exercise plan. Though I did not stick with the 800 calories a day and I decided against taking the phentermine that was offered, I did stick with some of the principles that he introduced me to. (On a side note- As far as diet drugs go, to each their own. My decision was this- why take these drugs to lose the weight and then be faced with keeping it off without the meds? It sounded like a recipe for disaster to me!!!) Below is a list of some of the parts of my diet:
- I count calories every day. Seriously. If it passes my lips then I put it into a calorie counting website. Even when I cheat or splurge it STILL goes into this site! After all, how else will I REALLY know what I am putting in my body?
- I eat a fruit or a veggie with every meal.
- I do not eat processed carbs with breakfast. If I eat a bagel, then that is the only thing I will burn off all day... I would much prefer to burn off my thighs instead!
- I now drink skim milk, fat free yogurt, fat free sour cream.
- Cut out red meat with the exception of VERY lean cuts. I pretty much only eat chicken, turkey, and pork with veggies.
- I cut out almost all processed carbs. ie- pasta and bread. When I do choose to have these things, they are always whole wheat and it is a rare treat.
- I drink AT LEAST 2 Liters of water a day. I know what you are thinking, yes... I spent half of my day in the bathroom at first. But your body gets used to it. I bought a gallon pitcher and I keep it on my desk so I do not have to get up to refill my glass. I also gave up drinking Soda which was a HUGE change for me! I was a self proclaimed Diet Coke junkie! I could easily drink a 6 cans a day. I quit drinking them all together at first and now I have maybe one a month as a treat.
So here is the hard truth that all of the diet specialists and trainers won't tell you- Dieting is hard. Dieting is not fun. If it was fun and easy then everyone would be skinny. The hardest part is learning to tell yourself "no." In this case, you are your own worst enemy. It is so easy to think "oh it's just one cookie" or "oh I will just have a few beers with my friends." Until you know what effect that one cookie or those few beers has on your body, its easy to not count them as part of what you had that day. Now when I look at a cookie, I know that I could have that OR I could have a grilled chicken breast with asparagus and a salad for dinner. I will be honest with you, sometimes the cookie is really worth it! But I make that decision consciously and I adjust my diet for the rest of the day accordingly.
It is not the worst thing in the world for you to go hungry for a little bit. You won't actually starve. Trust me. Americans as a whole have become such major over eaters that it is a MAJOR change for us to eat a smaller (and healthier) portion size. Our stomachs are stretched to a point where you will feel hungry from time to time as you make this change in your life. My suggestion- Suck it up, drink some water, and deal with it. I do not subscribe to "eat when you are hungry," because lets be honest, that is what got you in this position in the first place! Do not misconstrue this.... I am not advocating starving yourself.... but I am saying to give your body a chance to get balanced again. Ask yourself this, "am I really hungry or am I just bored/nervous/sad/depressed?" We eat for such a variety of reasons that we almost do not know the difference any more! Drink some water, chew on a piece of sugar free gum to try to curb the hunger and then eat a healthy, normal meal later. For instance, I no longer snack in front of the TV. If I am really hungry I commit to eating in the kitchen. That way I am satisfying my hunger and not satisfying my boredom. When we look at food for its nutritional value and not for its comfort level, we make better decisions.
- I count calories every day. Seriously. If it passes my lips then I put it into a calorie counting website. Even when I cheat or splurge it STILL goes into this site! After all, how else will I REALLY know what I am putting in my body?
- I eat a fruit or a veggie with every meal.
- I do not eat processed carbs with breakfast. If I eat a bagel, then that is the only thing I will burn off all day... I would much prefer to burn off my thighs instead!
- I now drink skim milk, fat free yogurt, fat free sour cream.
- Cut out red meat with the exception of VERY lean cuts. I pretty much only eat chicken, turkey, and pork with veggies.
- I cut out almost all processed carbs. ie- pasta and bread. When I do choose to have these things, they are always whole wheat and it is a rare treat.
- I drink AT LEAST 2 Liters of water a day. I know what you are thinking, yes... I spent half of my day in the bathroom at first. But your body gets used to it. I bought a gallon pitcher and I keep it on my desk so I do not have to get up to refill my glass. I also gave up drinking Soda which was a HUGE change for me! I was a self proclaimed Diet Coke junkie! I could easily drink a 6 cans a day. I quit drinking them all together at first and now I have maybe one a month as a treat.
So here is the hard truth that all of the diet specialists and trainers won't tell you- Dieting is hard. Dieting is not fun. If it was fun and easy then everyone would be skinny. The hardest part is learning to tell yourself "no." In this case, you are your own worst enemy. It is so easy to think "oh it's just one cookie" or "oh I will just have a few beers with my friends." Until you know what effect that one cookie or those few beers has on your body, its easy to not count them as part of what you had that day. Now when I look at a cookie, I know that I could have that OR I could have a grilled chicken breast with asparagus and a salad for dinner. I will be honest with you, sometimes the cookie is really worth it! But I make that decision consciously and I adjust my diet for the rest of the day accordingly.
It is not the worst thing in the world for you to go hungry for a little bit. You won't actually starve. Trust me. Americans as a whole have become such major over eaters that it is a MAJOR change for us to eat a smaller (and healthier) portion size. Our stomachs are stretched to a point where you will feel hungry from time to time as you make this change in your life. My suggestion- Suck it up, drink some water, and deal with it. I do not subscribe to "eat when you are hungry," because lets be honest, that is what got you in this position in the first place! Do not misconstrue this.... I am not advocating starving yourself.... but I am saying to give your body a chance to get balanced again. Ask yourself this, "am I really hungry or am I just bored/nervous/sad/depressed?" We eat for such a variety of reasons that we almost do not know the difference any more! Drink some water, chew on a piece of sugar free gum to try to curb the hunger and then eat a healthy, normal meal later. For instance, I no longer snack in front of the TV. If I am really hungry I commit to eating in the kitchen. That way I am satisfying my hunger and not satisfying my boredom. When we look at food for its nutritional value and not for its comfort level, we make better decisions.
Defining "Choose Your Hard"
My friend Casey and I have been dieting together since 9/15/09. That was our D-Day. Casey was one of my best friends in high school and we lost touch during college, then came together again in 2003 after we had both graduated. Back then we were still fit, tho not the slender versions of ourselves that we had been when we graduated high school 4 years earlier, we were still pretty darn fit. You could find us on the bar dancing and drinking away until all hours of the night every weekend! It was great to be young and alive with the excitement of being with our friends!
Well, when I moved to Tennessee a few years later, we had a falling out and lost touch again. It was not until Circuit City went down and I was spending some of my unemployment time with Kyle at my family's beach house, that we became reconnected again. Ironically enough, Casey had worked at Circuit as well, but since she was in the financial division she saw the writing on the wall long before the company tanked. Not me tho!!! I remember saying, "I am going to stick with this ship until it hits the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic!" In retrospect, this was probably not the best decision I have ever made. That aside, everything happens for a reason and this brought Casey back into my life because she was offering to help find me a job. Well, though she did not get me a job we spent alot of time discussing how things have changed and how we both got fat!!! (FYI- if you are uncomfortable with the use of the word fat, I suggest you either get over it or delete this blog from your mind all together! I use the word fat because that is exactly what I was! God love those of you that want to say I wasn't, but for me... self acceptance, awareness, and acknowledgment is part of this process.) Admittedly, Casey had better reasons for her body changes than I did, she had twins in the years that we were not talking! HOLY COW!!! But both of us candidly admitted that the spare tire we were carrying around was more a result of Big Macs and beer than anything else. So we decided to take a stand and make a change and in September we both started dieting and reporting our results to each other. Those of you that are friends with my on Facebook know that I have also been "keeping myself honest" there as well, but this is all part of my process. Casey and I had both tried to lose weight on our own, and now we were each others diet buddies. We were going to be brutally honest with each other, call each other out, support each other, and knock some sense into each other when necessary.
I cannot take credit for the blog title as it is something that Casey heard along the way, but it is so completely true that I have adopted it as my life mantra. "Choose Your Hard!!!" In this scenario, consider this- Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard, and maintaining weight loss is hard. Choose your hard. It really is that easy!
If you have ever been fat, you know how hard it is. Many people feel trapped, embarrassed, and uncomfortable in their own skin. I have been here! It is sad to go clothes shopping. It is sad to go to theme parks because it is uncomfortable to fit into the seat. You hate flying because you hate knowing that as you walk down the aisle there are people thinking "please don't sit next to me, I don't want to be squished for this whole flight!" You wonder if this is the time that you will need a belt extender to make the belt fit you. You cannot wear the shoes you want because the weight has started to hurt your joints from the sheer pressure of it all.
As hard as it is to be fat, it is even harder to make the choice to lose the weight. You have to acknowledge the problem and confront it head on. There are lots of people who diet without ever addressing why they have gotten to the point they are at and without being honest with themselves about how big of an issue it really is for them. For me, the hard part was setting a weight loss goal that was almost 100lbs from my current weight. As big as I was, it seems that everyone underestimated what the scale was actually saying about me. It is a blessing and a curse because even tho no one knew how bad it had gotten, I did. I still had to face that scale and deal with all of the emotions that entails.
Maintaining weight loss- This one I am projecting my ideas on, since I have not reached that stage yet. But I know that when you get to the goal there is an instinct to want to celebrate. I mean.... you just reached your GOAL WEIGHT!!! (I have one main goal but I have set several smaller goals along the way) It is so hard to settle down into the rhythm of keeping the weight off. The goal is different, the rewards are less obvious. This what they mean when they say it needs to be a "lifestyle change" (but we will get into that more later on).
CHOOSE YOUR HARD
Well, when I moved to Tennessee a few years later, we had a falling out and lost touch again. It was not until Circuit City went down and I was spending some of my unemployment time with Kyle at my family's beach house, that we became reconnected again. Ironically enough, Casey had worked at Circuit as well, but since she was in the financial division she saw the writing on the wall long before the company tanked. Not me tho!!! I remember saying, "I am going to stick with this ship until it hits the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic!" In retrospect, this was probably not the best decision I have ever made. That aside, everything happens for a reason and this brought Casey back into my life because she was offering to help find me a job. Well, though she did not get me a job we spent alot of time discussing how things have changed and how we both got fat!!! (FYI- if you are uncomfortable with the use of the word fat, I suggest you either get over it or delete this blog from your mind all together! I use the word fat because that is exactly what I was! God love those of you that want to say I wasn't, but for me... self acceptance, awareness, and acknowledgment is part of this process.) Admittedly, Casey had better reasons for her body changes than I did, she had twins in the years that we were not talking! HOLY COW!!! But both of us candidly admitted that the spare tire we were carrying around was more a result of Big Macs and beer than anything else. So we decided to take a stand and make a change and in September we both started dieting and reporting our results to each other. Those of you that are friends with my on Facebook know that I have also been "keeping myself honest" there as well, but this is all part of my process. Casey and I had both tried to lose weight on our own, and now we were each others diet buddies. We were going to be brutally honest with each other, call each other out, support each other, and knock some sense into each other when necessary.
I cannot take credit for the blog title as it is something that Casey heard along the way, but it is so completely true that I have adopted it as my life mantra. "Choose Your Hard!!!" In this scenario, consider this- Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard, and maintaining weight loss is hard. Choose your hard. It really is that easy!
If you have ever been fat, you know how hard it is. Many people feel trapped, embarrassed, and uncomfortable in their own skin. I have been here! It is sad to go clothes shopping. It is sad to go to theme parks because it is uncomfortable to fit into the seat. You hate flying because you hate knowing that as you walk down the aisle there are people thinking "please don't sit next to me, I don't want to be squished for this whole flight!" You wonder if this is the time that you will need a belt extender to make the belt fit you. You cannot wear the shoes you want because the weight has started to hurt your joints from the sheer pressure of it all.
As hard as it is to be fat, it is even harder to make the choice to lose the weight. You have to acknowledge the problem and confront it head on. There are lots of people who diet without ever addressing why they have gotten to the point they are at and without being honest with themselves about how big of an issue it really is for them. For me, the hard part was setting a weight loss goal that was almost 100lbs from my current weight. As big as I was, it seems that everyone underestimated what the scale was actually saying about me. It is a blessing and a curse because even tho no one knew how bad it had gotten, I did. I still had to face that scale and deal with all of the emotions that entails.
Maintaining weight loss- This one I am projecting my ideas on, since I have not reached that stage yet. But I know that when you get to the goal there is an instinct to want to celebrate. I mean.... you just reached your GOAL WEIGHT!!! (I have one main goal but I have set several smaller goals along the way) It is so hard to settle down into the rhythm of keeping the weight off. The goal is different, the rewards are less obvious. This what they mean when they say it needs to be a "lifestyle change" (but we will get into that more later on).
CHOOSE YOUR HARD
And so it begins...
So I have spent alot of time sharing what has been going on in my life recently. I have used FB as an outlet but I thought I would take the inspiration of my friend Sarah and begin a blog. One of the ideas I have toyed with recently is becoming an inspirational speaker, so this might be the first step down the path for me.
For those of you that don't know me, and some of you that do, this will begin as the story of my weight loss journey and who knows where it will go from there! After all, I won't need to lose weight for forever!!!
In September I decided to go see a "fat dr" here in Charlotte. Now, he prefers to be called a Bariatric Specialist, but lets call a spade a spade.... I have NEVER seen a skinny woman in his office. I have told him that he is my "fat dr" and he is ok with it, especially when I tell him that one day he will be my "skinny dr." I will tell you all what I told him and hopefully that will help catch you up!
"I am the story you have heard a million times... I used to be skinny and fit. I rode horses and worked out every day. For that matter... it was fun! But then something changed... I do not know how it happened, or when it happened, but I felt like I woke up one day and I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. Please help!!!"
So that is the gist of it. Once upon a time there was this skinny and pretty girl named Carrie who rode horses and could do it all. Then she went to college, drank some beer, had quite a few injuries, and then WHAM!!! She was no longer the skinny pretty girl, she had completely morphed into the funny fat girl. It all came out of NOWHERE!!! Now, do you believe that? Because I sure don't! I did turn into the funny fat girl, but it most decidedly did not come out of nowhere. Sure, I had injuries and other issues and stresses to contend with, but EVERYONE does! The point is that when given a choice, I was not making the right decision for my body and for my health. I remember saying, "its just too expensive to eat healthy all the time" and "I just don't have time to work out!" These are valid issues, time and money are two big deterrents, but they can be overcome if you REALLY want to! So going forward you will see how my choices have changed... some of these will be in retrospect as I am now 6 months into this... but you will be a part of my story as I laugh, love, struggle, cry, cheat, and repent my way through this phase of my life!
For those of you that don't know me, and some of you that do, this will begin as the story of my weight loss journey and who knows where it will go from there! After all, I won't need to lose weight for forever!!!
In September I decided to go see a "fat dr" here in Charlotte. Now, he prefers to be called a Bariatric Specialist, but lets call a spade a spade.... I have NEVER seen a skinny woman in his office. I have told him that he is my "fat dr" and he is ok with it, especially when I tell him that one day he will be my "skinny dr." I will tell you all what I told him and hopefully that will help catch you up!
"I am the story you have heard a million times... I used to be skinny and fit. I rode horses and worked out every day. For that matter... it was fun! But then something changed... I do not know how it happened, or when it happened, but I felt like I woke up one day and I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. Please help!!!"
So that is the gist of it. Once upon a time there was this skinny and pretty girl named Carrie who rode horses and could do it all. Then she went to college, drank some beer, had quite a few injuries, and then WHAM!!! She was no longer the skinny pretty girl, she had completely morphed into the funny fat girl. It all came out of NOWHERE!!! Now, do you believe that? Because I sure don't! I did turn into the funny fat girl, but it most decidedly did not come out of nowhere. Sure, I had injuries and other issues and stresses to contend with, but EVERYONE does! The point is that when given a choice, I was not making the right decision for my body and for my health. I remember saying, "its just too expensive to eat healthy all the time" and "I just don't have time to work out!" These are valid issues, time and money are two big deterrents, but they can be overcome if you REALLY want to! So going forward you will see how my choices have changed... some of these will be in retrospect as I am now 6 months into this... but you will be a part of my story as I laugh, love, struggle, cry, cheat, and repent my way through this phase of my life!
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