Helping your friends.....

One of my friends sent me an email where she mentioned the struggles of her friend and how she was trying to help her attain her goals of getting fitter and thinner. She was asking for any advise I might be able to provide for her to help her friend and here is what I responded with!!! Hope you enjoy!


1) Counting calories. I have used www.myfooddiary.com since I started my weight loss. I track what I eat.... EVERYTHING I eat. I found that we all think we are eating well because we over look the "just one." For me, "just one" was just one soda, or just one bag of chips, or just one cookie. It is the stuff you don't count when you aren't tracking what you eat. Make sense?






2) Small rewards for big gains. There was a time when at night I would drink a couple glasses of wine or eat a gigantic bowl of pasta and I would think to myself, "I deserve this..... I was good all day!" Well.... that is not really how it works. Being good for 10 hours does not mean its time to reward yourself! This is a life change..... not a daily one. I stuck to the plan 100% for one month before I gave myself a reward. And on the 30th day my reward was 1/2 of a diet soda. Soda was my drug, so this was a big deal for me. But allowing myself a treat did not mean I had to go completely overboard. 1/2 of a soda said "good job" without saying, "you can do and eat WHATEVER you want" because you did something right.






3) The art of telling yourself "no." It is as easy and as hard as it sounds. Yes, you want that cookie. You REALLY do!!! That doesn't mean you should eat it. So tell yourself "no" and feel good about it because in the place where you could have that cookie, you are having a grilled chicken breast and a yummy salad instead. Its ok to miss the cookie. But think of the bigger reward and be ok with the void that the cookie leaves behind.






4) Drink water. Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Lots and lots and lots of water. Drink it. A hydrated body is a happy body. Drink lots and lots of water.I think ya get the point on that one. HAHA.






5) Don't let one mistake ruin the meal, day, week, month, etc. Although we have already covered the rewards part...... that doesn't cover the whoops. Weaknesses happen. We all make mistakes. Don't let it completely derail you! Don't talk yourself into cheating. Eating one brownie doesn't mean the entire day has gone to the crapper. Should you have eaten it? NO.But does that mean, you "might as well have some more" since you already screwed up? Naaaaaa..... so scold youself, suck it up, and move on.














As far as exercise goes..... cardio is easier and not as likely to discourage your friend. It is little things.... like walking. On a treadmill or outside for 30 minutes..... it does not sound like much to someone that is thin or is used to working out..... but its a HUGE deal for someone who is not active and not eating right. Baby steps. It is hard for naturally thin or fit people to help those who its harder for. Even with the best of intentions, its hard to relate. The idea of "pushing yourself" comes naturally to some people. Others have to learn to do this. If they are pushed too hard by those around them, it makes them feel like a failure or that they will just never measure up. So for anyone trying to help a friend, remember to make the first steps small and achievable ones. Great intentions can land flat without helping people in the way that they WANT to be helped and in a way that makes them feel positive and like they can do it!!!!!

 

Pork Wellington

Here is another entry from Food Network and it turned out to be AMAZING! It would be a great way to show off your skills for a nice dinner party. Also, if you want to make it a bit leaner, you can now also get some wonderful turkey tenderloins but I suggest switching to pears with that change. ENJOY!

Pork Wellington with Apples

Ingredients


1 whole egg

1 tablespoon water

1-ounce dried apple rings (I diced fresh fruit instead of using dried)

1 whole pork tenderloin, approximately 1 pound

4 1/2 ounces thinly slice prosciutto ham

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves

1 teaspoon all-purpose flour

1 sheet puff pastry, thawed completely

1 tablespoon whole-grain mustard

Directions

Place a rack in the upper third of the oven and heat to 400 degrees F.



Whisk the egg and water in a small bowl and set aside. Place the apple rings into the bowl of a mini food processor and process for 30 to 45 seconds or until they are the size of a medium dice. Set aside.



Trim the pork tenderloin of any excess fat and silver skin. Slice the tenderloin down the middle lengthwise, creating 2 separate pieces. Lay the tenderloin pieces next to each other head to tail, so when laid back together they are the same size at the ends.



Lay out a 12 by 16-inch piece of parchment paper on the counter and arrange the pieces of prosciutto in the center, overlapping them enough to create solid layer that is as long as the tenderloin. Top with a second piece of parchment, and using a rolling pin, roll over the prosciutto to help adhere the pieces to each other. Remove the parchment paper and sprinkle the prosciutto with the salt, pepper, and thyme. Set the tenderloin down the middle of the prosciutto. Spread the dried apples in between the 2 pieces of tenderloin and push back together so the apples are held between them. Using the parchment paper to assist, wrap the prosciutto around the tenderloin to completely enclose in a package.



Sprinkle the counter with flour and roll out the pastry to 12 by 14 inches. Spread the mustard thinly in the center of pastry and lay the prosciutto wrapped tenderloin in the center of the pastry on the mustard. Fold the puff pastry up and over the top of the tenderloin, then roll to completely enclose, brushing the edges of the pastry with the egg wash in order to seal. Turn the tenderloin over so the side of the tenderloin with the double thickness of pastry is underneath. Pinch the ends of the pastry to seal.



Brush the entire pastry with the egg wash. Place the tenderloin on a parchment lined half sheet pan and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the pork reaches an internal temperature of at least 140 degrees F.



Remove the tenderloin from the oven, transfer to a cooling rack and let rest for 10 minutes before slicing and serving. (Make sure to have on a cooling rack, otherwise the juices will make the bottom of the pastry soggy!)

Romantic Dinner

All of these recipe's came from watching Food Network and they were each INCREDIBLE!!!! If you look for them on Food Network you will notice that I made a few changes. Mostly, I cut as much of the fat out as possible! I will not say this is a healthy meal, but it is a healthier meal than you would have if you went out for a special dinner with your honey!

Herbed Delmontico Steak

Ingredients


1 (3-inch) thick rib-eye or bone in Delmonico steak, about 1 1/2 pounds (24 ounces)

Extra-virgin olive oil, for coating and liberal drizzling

Freshly ground black pepper

Sprig fresh rosemary

1/2 cup freshly chopped parsley leaves

2 to 3 sprigs fresh oregano or marjoram

Salt

2 lemon wedges

Directions

Heat a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and the oven to 375 degrees F.



Coat meat in olive oil, season with pepper then throw a rosemary sprig into pan and set steak on top. Caramelize the meat evenly on both sides then transfer to oven until cooked to desired doneness, 7 to 8 minutes for medium-rare.



Drizzle a carving board with olive oil, place steak on board. Let steak rest then thinly slice against the grain and dress the thinly sliced meat with olive oil, herbs and salt, tossing with tongs to combine. Serve garnished with lemon wedges.


Creamed Spinach with Blue Cheese Crumbles in an Heirloom Tomato

Ingredients


1 cup skim milk

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 small onion, finely chopped

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 boxes chopped frozen spinach, defrosted

A few grates nutmeg

2 large heirloom or beefsteak tomatoes

1/2 cup blue cheese crumbles

Chopped chives, for garnish

Directions

Place the cream in a small pot and reduce by half by gently simmering 20 minutes.



Heat a medium skillet with olive oil over medium heat, add onions and garlic, season with salt and pepper and saute until translucent, 6 to 7 minutes. Drain the spinach by wringing dry in clean kitchen towel. Separate the spinach with your hands and add to onions and garlic. Season spinach with nutmeg then stir in the reduced cream. Adjust flavor with salt and pepper.



Preheat broiler.



Trim the tops off tomatoes and scoop out the seeds. Stuff tomatoes with creamed spinach and top each with 1/4 cup blue cheese. Broil to brown the cheese. Garnish the tomatoes with chives.

Bacon Horseraddish Mashed Potatos

Ingredients


2 large or 3 medium Idaho potatoes

Salt

Drizzle extra-virgin olive oil

2 slices smoky bacon, finely chopped

1/3 cup non-fat sour cream

1 rounded tablespoon prepared horseradish

Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Peel potatoes and cut them into chunks. Cover potatoes with water and bring to a boil; salt water and boil 12 to 15 minutes until tender. Drain and return to hot pot.



While potatoes cook, heat a small skillet with a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil over medium-high heat. Brown the bacon then drain and reserve.



Mash potatoes with bacon, sour cream, horseradish and pepper.



Drunken Berries with Chocolate Drizzle

Ingredients


1 pint strawberries, hulled and halved

1 nip orange liqueur (recommended: Grand Marnier)

3/4 cup dark chocolate pieces - reserve a few shavings

1/2 cup cream

Pinch salt

Whipped cream, homemade or store bought

2 teaspoons orange zest

Directions

Soak berries in liqueur for 20 minutes.



Melt chocolate with cream and salt over low heat until smooth and combined.



Remove berries to 2 dessert bowls with slotted spoon. Drown drunken berries in chocolate river, top with mounds of whipped cream and garnish with orange zest and chocolate shavings.

Low Carb Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake

 Carrie's Low Carb Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake 


Ingredients: 32 ounces Cream cheese
1 cup Splenda
1 teaspoon Vanilla extract
3/4 cup SF peanut butter (smooth or chunky, your choice)
4 Eggs, plus 1 Egg yolk
2 tablespoons heavy cream
3 Squares Semi-Sweet Chocolate (baking bar), melted in double boiler

How To Prepare: Bring all cold ingredients to room temperature. With an electric mixer, combine the cream cheese and splenda at slow to medium speed, scraping sides often. Add the vanilla and cream. When completely mixed (with no lumps), add the eggs and egg yolk, one at a time, beating very slowly.


When eggs are incorporated separate out one cup of batter then add the peanut butter into the rest of the batter. When peanut butter is blended in, don't mix any more. Over-mixing the batter is a contributing cause of cracked cheesecakes. (The leading cause of cracking is over-cooking, so don't believe any one who tells you it is normal for a cheesecake to be cracked; it isn't Always treat the batter gently. To the one cup of separated batter, add the three squares of melted chocolate and blend.


Add half of the chocolate batter to the bottom of a well-greased springform pan. Gently add the peanut butter batter, and then cover with remaining chocolate batter and spread to cover the top (no peanut butter batter should show through). The idea is to create a peanut butter cup, cook to the cheesecake with the chocolate batter at the top and bottom.


Place the pan on a very large piece of aluminum foil, and fold the foil up around the pan to create a watertight barrier around the cheesecake. Then place the springform pan in an even larger pan and fill the larger pan halfway with water. This is called a water bath. It is a gentler way to cook the cheesecake.


Place the entire water bath containing the cheesecake in a 300-degree preheated oven. Cook for 1 hour and reduce heat to 200 degrees for 1 more hour. Turn oven off and leave cheesecake in until the oven is completely cool. The cheesecake can even be left overnight at this point. Cracks can also occur when a cheesecake cools too quickly, so don't rush this process. Let it set up for several hours in the fridge, preferably overnight.

Yields: 12 Servings

Crying in the Fitting Room

I am pretty sure you have read where I said that I did not realize how big I had gotten. And until just recently I really thought that was true!!! I kept saying, "when I look in the mirror I am looking myself in the eyes." I would say, "I knew I was big, but I just didn't really see it." Apparently I was a big fat (pun intended) liar! I recently went shopping for some capri pants since my old ones don't fit. Even now when I put on what I affectionately call my "fat pants", I really cannot remember myself being that big. And these aren't the type of "fat pants" that you save for PMS days, these are the type that I could probably wear with someone else in them WITH me. (Yes, really... albeit a very small person.)

As a result of my weight loss I have lost several clothing sizes, 6 to be exact. I have gone from an 18 to an 6 and I am still going! (WOW it was hard to type that out!) As I have been shopping I have really struggled with finding things that fit me.... mostly because I am not familiar with how things look when they are too big. It honestly confuses me when I look in the mirror! The first time I went into the fitting room and knew the clothes looked bad and tried on a size SMALLER (size 6), I honestly sat down in the fitting room and cried. After all... it has been a LOOONG time since I had that issue! I really never thought I could be this successful! I tried losing weight a million times and would lose a few lbs and then hit a plateau. Of course, now I know it was because I was not REALLY committed.... but I certainly felt like I was!

This process has shown me a new level of strength that I never knew I had!!!

The Changes

Yep, that is right.... there are LOTS of things that will change as you lose weight. Things will come back that you never realized you were missing. Here is a preview of coming events-

"Oh my GOD!!! I can cross my legs again!!!!"- Yeah.... right now you might be thinking, what are you talking about Carrie?? I can cross my legs JUST FINE! Yeah, sure you can. However, I am not talking ankle on the opposite knee kind of leg crossing. I am talking about sitting like a lady WITHOUT having to block your leg so it stays there. I remember last year when Kyle and I were flying to NY for Thanksgiving and all of a sudden I realized I had crossed my legs to stay out of the way on the plane. I looked at him and said, "OH MY GOD!!!! I CAN CROSS MY LEGS AGAIN!!!!!" I am sure the other people on the plane got a REAL kick out of that... but when it happens to you.... you will KNOW how exciting this new change can be.

"No need to rush ma'am, I will hold this door as long as you need me to."- This change is more subtle. Remember when you were younger (AKA Skinnier) and people went out of their way to do generally polite things for you such as holding a door or stopping as you cross the road? Yeah, it was a distant memory for me too! But in January I was going to a bridal show in Richmond and I realized that cars were stopping to let me cross the road. I noticed that this was something that rarely happened to me anymore. But it opened my eyes to the changes around me. I would stop at the gas station and some guy would see me coming from across the parking lot and he would hold the door the whole time! A few times I even jogged because I was so far away and the nice gentleman said, "No need to rush ma'am, I will hold this door as long as you need me to." WOW!!!! Being thinner sure does have its perks!!!!

"What is he looking at??"- Picture this.... I am walking through work and I notice this guy looking at my pants. It seemed odd but I did not think much of it. So the next time I pass the same man, before I can even get past him, I notice he is looking down at my pants and I am thinking "what is he LOOKING at?!?!." Now, we have all had this moment of panic. "OH MY GOD WHAT IS ON MY PANTS??!?!?! DID I RIP THEM?!?!?!?!" I promptly hustle to the bathroom to figure out what the damage is. As I am craning my neck around while in front of the mirror and seeing that there is nothing wrong, it occurs to me..... "HOLY CRAP!!! He was looking at my ASS!!!!" So as any self respectable woman would, I walk by him again. Call it a test, call it an ego boost, but yep.... he was clear as day checking out my derriere! It has been a while since I got checked out! I had not even REALLY realized that it stopped.... but I sure did notice when it came back!

"Woot Woot! Hey guuuuuuuuuuuuurl..... you lookin FINE!!!"- Yeah.... you knew this one was coming right? Well, after getting checked out by the man at work I became more aware of my surroundings. And as I was getting out of my car near a construction area I got cat called. You know what I mean ladies.... the "psst psst" or the "whooooo hooooo!!!" or the "woot woot! Hey guuuuuuuurl..... you lookin FINE!" Well... that last one, that was the first cat call I got in years. And I remember a time when I would have rolled my eyes and turned away. After all, this is what all thin pretty girls do. They are so used to the attention that it becomes an annoyance. Well, I stuck to my guns and turned away, but there was no eye roll, there was a BIG OLE SMILE! Yeah, it may have been a sketchy construction worker.... but that cat call shows me that I still got it!!!!!!

"Where did these towels come from?"- OK, so there was a time when I was thinking.... why do towels seem to be getting smaller and smaller? Yeah well now I know, the towels were not getting smaller... I was getting BIGGER! You know how you can wrap the towel around you and tuck the top in so it stays on you? Well, that was not working for me anymore. I had gotten so fat that the towels were just not long enough for that anymore! I will admit that as things have changed I have not always noticed at the moment they happened. But one day I look at Kyle after getting out of the shower and I said, "where did these towels come from?" It took a half a second of him looking at me like I was insane before it clicked. We have had these for 3 years. They haven't changed, I have. It is a nice change when you can lounge after getting out of the shower instead of clinging to the towel for dear life just to keep it on you!!!!

"Pants balls"- If you are smiling, you know where I am going with this. Big girls have to deal with something that skinny girls don't. Pants balls. You know that area on your pants that is between your thighs? Where your thighs rub together? Yeah... pants balls. Anyone whose thighs touch knows what this is.... this is where the friction from your thighs rubbing together 24hours a day causes your pants to beg for mercy in the form of little fabric balls on the inner thighs of your pants. In my opinion this is likely the best way to keep them from actually bursting into flames from all that friction! Jeans are a different story, they do not produce pants balls, instead they just wear down.... and one day you are sitting down to use the bathroom and you look down at your pants and you realize that the thighs are now see through because you have worn them down. Make all the excuses you want ladies, but I am going to tell you the HARD TRUTH... your pants are BEGGING FOR MERCY!!! Well, as I have been buying pants I have noticed that this is no longer happening!!! Think of all the clothes we will save with the weight loss!!

"Shoe shopping anyone?"- So you may look at yourself and think, "gee my thighs are big, gee my arms are big, gee look at my belly" but do you ever look at yourself and go "gee my feet are fat!" No? Well you should. A strange change was when I went back to wearing a size 7.5 after several years of wearing size 8. I remember thinking that my feet must have been getting flatter as I got older and that is why I went up 1/2 a size. Now I know the truth.... my feet were fat too! Bad thing, I needed all new shoes. Good thing, I needed all new shoes!!!! Happy Shopping ladies, happy shopping.

"Why are the pockets so tiny in these pants?"- Yes, really. Long story short, I have bought several pairs of pants over and over again as my sizes have changed. In particular, I have several different pairs of Old Navy pants, which I LOVE, at size 18, 14, 12, 6. I just like them that much. Now, I knew the pants would get smaller. But I DID NOT expect the pockets to get smaller. In one certain pair of jeans, at the size 18 the pocket nearly went half way down my thigh. I never thought anything of that until I got the size 6 version (exact same pants, different size) and the pockets are so shallow that I cannot even put my keys in there without some odd looking bulge! So it is official, these clothing designers specially tailor pants for fat girls. Apparently they knew we need deep pockets, after all, we are HUNGRY!!! We need SNACKS! They make deep pockets so that we can store twinkies and cookies and other JUNK in there! Skinny girl jeans, on the other hand, have TINY pockets. Apparently, all those girls need is a stick of gum in their pocket! I am tellin you... as you drop the sizes pay attention to this! It is really funny and I SO WISH I could ask the designers about this.... it would be like watching a bug squirm under a microscope! teeheee...

Use these examples as some small things that you will notice change as your body does. You may notice some of your own changes, but pay attention to them and SAVOR THEM! Because you will NEVER go back! I will NEVER go back! WE WILL NEVER GO BACK TO BEING FAT! Why? Because it sucks being fat... that's why!

Months eight and nine (I know I am a slacker!!!)

Here is the month 8 pic-






Here is the month 9 pic-






Here is the "Nice Butt" pic!!! HAHAHA




Well.... I am losing weight still but it is no longer fast and furious! I am still loving this journey and I am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished... BUT.... I know this journey will not be over until I die... and if I want to keep what I have now... it will take WORK!

The hardest thing over the last couple months has been to stick with it. Now I am into a maintenance phase, I have not **quite** reached my goal.... but I am within 10lbs which feels incredible!

I know this one is short.... more of a catch up than anything.... but I want to start sharing things again and I felt the need to cover the last 2 months briefly before posting new things!

After seven months...

Month seven seemed to flow by fairly quickly and easily though I did not see much change on the scale. I am down a total of 68.5lbs which is 5.5lbs in the last month. Since I am working out more now than ever before I can feel my body getting leaner and stronger and though I know I am still burning fat... the scale doesn't move much these days. I am still excited and I know that I am on the right track and I just need to stick with it!

Challenges this month:
Travel- This seems to be a reoccurring theme. To put it simply- Traveling makes weight loss harder. Any time you disrupt your routine it is difficult to stick to the plan and see the results you want. Know that this will happen and DO NOT beat yourself up over it. Do the best you can and stay on track the week after so that you see long term results. REMEMBER- This is NOT a DIET! It is a lifestyle change!

Calories In, Calories Out... Is it really that simple?

You hear it all the time.... "its as simple as calories in and calories out!" Well, that is half true. It IS that simple.... but it also about the TYPE of calories you are putting in. When people ask what I am doing to lose this weight, I say that I am counting calories and working out. Most people cringe and say, "ugh that doesn't sound fun!!" Well, its not. But neither is being fat. So.... choose your hard people!!!!

The In
I use a site called "My Food Diary" (www.myfooddiary.com) to track the calories I am putting into my body every day. Yes.... EVERY DAY. It costs me $9 a month, but it is the best money I spend every month!!!! It allows me to create recipes and put in serving numbers and it spits out the nutritional info. It has a section to include exercise and it gives you an average of calories burned based off your info. It has a body tracker so you can track weight loss and your measurements. Quite a nifty tool. Of course, you can do it the old fashioned way and use a calorie book to figure it all out. Probably in the near future that is what I will move towards as I now make good choices without having to REALLY think about it. Save the $9 a month and put it towards some cute SHOES! (On a side note, one of the things I have noticed is that my feet were apparently fat. Yes.... fat feet. I though that maybe my feet had just gotten flatter and that is why I went from a 7.5 to an 8.... NOPE! Now I am back to a 7.5! At least you can look forward to some SHOE SHOPPING!)It is true that a cookie may be the same calories as a chicken breast with a cup of broccoli, but is it the right choice? (You should be telling yourself "no" right about now.) Keep in mind that your body is a machine now.... you need to feed it what it needs to thrive. NOT what just tastes good but has little to no nutritional value! Whichever way you choose to track your calories.... stick with it and BE HONEST!!! You are not doing anyone any favors by leaving off the brownie you had in the office meeting! Fess up to it MOVE FORWARD! Do not let that one thing completely derail your progress!!!!

The Outtie
The other part of this process is tracking what you BURN! As mentioned above, I have used My Food Diary to track calories burn. But 4 months into my diet when I started REALLY working out I started wanting to know what I was burning more accurately. I went to a local sporting goods store and purchased the Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor. I was so excited to get this thing on that I cannot describe it! Not only does it monitor my heart rate, but it tells me my ACTUAL calorie burn based on my personal info that I input into it! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!?! I have a strap that I put around my chest and a watch that I wear and each week when I weigh in I update my weight info. It is AMAZING! I refuse to leave the gym until I have burned 500 calories but my goal is 750 each day. On hard workouts I can break 1000. Now... as with anything... you need to do what works for you!!!

Mine is easy to use and allows you to update your info as often as you want. This also allows you to use the website (for FREE!) to track your info. The watch stores your info for several days and allows you go back and view previous days. It is quite simply AWESOME! Even if you do not get this one.... I highly suggest getting a heart rate monitor with a calorie tracker!

No matter the choices you make.... always remember that it is a CHOICE that you HAVE to make. You CHOOSE to eat right and you CHOOSE to workout! You can DO THIS! Stay positive and work hard! Remember that choosing to be fit is not an easy journey.... but it will provide you with rewards like you could not have EVER imagined!!!!

What changed?

So I was just catching up with an old friend from High School (God love Facebook!) and she said, "what made you actually finally start and stick to it?" My answer? "I really just got tired of being fat." Simple enough. I know I have said it a million times... and undoubtedly if you are reading this you probably are on your own personal weight loss journey. (Or you REALLY love me... so thanks regardless of the reason!) But losing weight is a choice and that is the hardest part of all. Once you have made the commitment it is not that difficult, but there are mental and physical obstacles that you need to overcome too.

I dieted before... and that is what it was.... a diet. There was no lifestyle changes involved whatsoever! I would make better choices. Not good ones.... just BETTER. But that is quite simply just not good enough. Looking at a bucket of fried chicken and saying, I will have a breast instead of a breast and a drumstick is NOT a good choice. A good choice is deciding to have a grilled chicken breast instead. The GOOD choices are never EASY. So brace yourself for that!!! It may mean bringing food where you go. I am constantly armed with pistachios, an apple, some granola bars, and sugar free gum. These are choices that I actively make every day. To plan ahead. I do not want to put myself in a position where I will make the wrong choice and then either feel ill or be mad at myself. I remember a time when I would eat at Chick fil a because I thought it was a better option than other fast food places. And in all reality.... it probably is! BUT... it is not a GOOD choice! And my body KNEW it a couple months ago when I had 4 chicken strips! I might as well have swallowed a whole brick. Your body learns very quickly what it wants and needs.

I honestly cannot tell you what changed. When I set my original goal it was 81.5 lbs from where I started. I set an unrealistic goal. I never in a million years thought that things would finally change this time! But now I see the goal.... I am within 15 lbs of it! I CAN DO THIS! Now I feel like not only can I reach this goal.... but I can re-evaluate and possibly start again once I am there and aim to lose 10 more lbs! I am making the right choices.... my body is becoming lean and tone. I still have a ways to go.... but I am on the right path. I am a living breathing lifestyle change.

Running... friend or foe?

Running. Billions of people around the world run as part of their exercise routine and I have recently become one of them.

I am currently in Richmond, VA to participate in the Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10K, and I am wondering why, oh WHY, did this seem like a good idea?!?!? I am sure it will be fine and I will finish with very little issues because I am a new fitter version of myself. But lets be honest, I run because I know that it is a part of a good fitness routine, not because I find it to be fun. In my opinion, running should be reserved for those moments when someone with a chainsaw or a machete (or something equally threatening)is chasing you! I will never understand how a person can run for over 26 miles to compete in a full marathon, let alone why. My friend recently asked a runner what she thinks of for those 26 miles and the response was "anything and everything." Ummmm.... personally, all I think of when I run is when I can stop. If I am on the treadmill the clock is my arch nemesis because it seems that I look at it every 4-8 seconds! I feel like I am DYING and the damn clock ISN'T MOVING!

Beyond that, I sincerely believe that the treadmill is little more than a glorified sniper trap. Running is more than just physical, its also mental and therefore you need to be in the right mindset to be successful. Just the other day, I started off on a bad note when my ipod tried to attack me and leapt off of the treadmill and tried to trip me up by hitting the running pad and flying underneath of my feet. Of course I watched it as it went and in my embarrassment I almost turned to go after it..... With the treadmill STILL GOING 5 ½ MPH!!!!! Luckily before I got myself killed I realized what I was setting myself up for and stopped the machine before tucking my tail and running for my ipod that was ejected off the back of my treadmill. To say the least, this was not the best day of running I have ever experienced.

At the end of the day we all know that running has its benefits. I run because I do believe it is good for me. Friend or foe?? Well, the jury is still out but I will say that sometimes you have to work with your enemy to obtain your goal so I guess I will be running into the sunset one way or the other!

After six months...

Well, from this point forward I will not have any tremendous forward insight. I just wrapped up month 6 a couple days ago so from here on out you will get to hear about these things as they happen!

After month 6 I was down a total of 63lbs! WOOT! I got into double digit weight loss again this month and I feel AWESOME!



Challenges this month-

Everyone needs a diet buddy- So last month (month 5) was tough! I was celebrating and it affected my diet in a very negative way. I was frustrated and could feel my resolve starting to waver. I was justifying a cheat here and a cheat there. Remember when I said that when you have a craving you need to give it a few days to see if it resolves on its own and THEN allow yourself a small treat if it doesn't just go away? Well, yeah.... I was not living by my own rules! I would get up on my weigh in mornings and hope for the best but I kept being disappointed by my lack of progress. (You might be wondering why I am still talking about month 5 when this is CLEARLY supposed to be about month 6.... keep reading) Well, it was not until Kyle said one morning, "well, you haven't been sticking to your diet like you were before." I was so pissed! Who was he to tell ME I haven't been dieting?!?! I don't see HIM dieting! I left the house so mad at him! That night I went home and said, "I might not have appreciated your delivery... but your point had merit." A full day of stewing can bring great clarity. My point is this.... surround yourself with people or at least someone who will call you out on your BS. Because Kyle was not afraid to say what he KNEW I would not want to hear, it brought me back to reality. Justification is the enemy of weight loss. Sure.... its just one cookie, or just one drink, or just one... WAIT! Didn't we talk about this before?!?!? You have to STOP the cycle. These are the moments when you realize that your weight issues have very little to do with the food and way more to do with your resolve, emotions, and self control. How's that for a smack of reality?!
Lifestyle Change- You have heard it before. "its not a diet, it is a lifestyle change." But what the heck does that mean? You start dieting and your stomach is growling and trying to tell you that you are dying of starvation, you are grumpy and starting to understand why those models always look so pissy.... they are HUNGRY, and you are wondering if being a few sizes smaller is REALLY worth skipping 50 cent wing night at the local bar with your friends! (Mmmm wings...) Every day is a challenge to make the right decisions and to tell yourself no. Then one day you are standing in the line at the grocery store and you realize you are looking at the "Cooking Light" magazine instead of drooling all over the candy display. "Hmmm... that is weird," you think. You show up to work and some big wig is in town and you find out that you are going to have a lunch meeting. You show up at the restaurant, open the menu, and while they are snacking on deep fried pickles and beef nachos you talk and laugh and sip your water. Then you order a "greek salad with grilled chicken and please hold the croutons and can I also get the dressing on the side." All of a sudden you realize that not only did you not check the menu online before going out, but you totally skipped the cheeseburger section of the menu and when the waitress asked if you would like a side of fries you simply said, "no thanks" instead of wanting to scream, "if I wanted fries I would have ordered FRIES!" Then you realize that you have experienced a lifestyle change. You are no longer dieting.... this is just how you eat now. It is an amazing feeling and it is the moment that you realize that you are now prepared for when the time comes for you to choose your hard by maintaining your weight loss. You go GIRL! (Or guy...) Break out an ice cold glass of water with lemon and CELEBRATE! Look in the mirror and welcome the new you, to the rest of your life!
Boredom- You will become bored of your routine... face it and prepare for it. For me, I am a pretty inventive cook but even for me I got burned out from making so much chicken and turkey. Just try to be creative. This is where you need to challenge yourself, especially if you do not usually enjoy cooking. If you are like me you will begin to feel the need to kick it up a notch. Though I have not discussed physical activity or working out very much, it is an important part of this process. And when you hit the plateau it is a good opportunity to change some part of what you are doing. You eat the same calories every day, do the same exercises. You need to start mixing it up a little! Your body responds more slowly if you do the exact same things day in and day out so plan to change your routine from time to time to keep it fresh and new for the best results.

After five months...

Ahh so month five.... This was the hardest month of all. I felt the repercussions of my choices during months 3 and 4. I hit my first plateau and I hit it hard. I am lucky because I had lost enough weight already to keep me committed to the goal. It is hard to stick with it when you are working hard and eating right and not seeing the results. But just when you want to give up and eat a piece of cake or a big bowl of pasta, as yourself this- Will this in any way help me reach my goal? No is the ONLY honest answer you can allow yourself. Remember when I said that dieting is not easy and that dieting is not fun? This is when that is more true than ever! If it was easy EVERYONE would be skinny! So show yourself that things have changed and stick to the plan!

At the end of month 5 I was down a total of 53lbs. This means I lost less than 4lbs in the whole month! For that matter.... I fluctuated up and down within those 4lbs all month and it was frustrating, but I was still headed in the right direction!



Challenges of this month:
Sticking with it- The further you get into your diet the harder it is to keep dieting. Not because it is not working, but because it is not fun. (Hey I told you I was going to tell you the truth!) But do not let that put you off or scare you. Not everything in life will be fun, but things can still be rewarding! If you are like me you might hit a plateau around this time.... just know that if you stay the course you will break through that glass ceiling and it will be EVEN MORE rewarding than you could have imagined!! (See month 6 for proof)
Water- So, I know that I mentioned I was drinking alot of water previously, but this is about the time when I stopped enjoying it. I average at least 2 Liters of water a day and I knew at some point I would get tired of it and boy did I ever!!!! One day it was like I was drinking sewage instead of water. Can you see the face you are making at that thought??? Just imagine thinking it while ACTUALLY drinking water! Yuck is right! I have no idea what changed, but one day I could barely choke down a glass of water, let alone several liters! I am personally convinced that this is is why I only lost 3.5lbs this month. Remember that your body cannot function at its optimal level without being hydrated. Also remember that by the time you are thirsty your body is already dehydrated. So get that pitcher out and DRINK AWAY people!!!!
I got engaged! WOOT WOOT!!!!- (OK, now that I got that out...)Now, you might not get engaged while you are dieting, but SOMETHING will come up. That is how life is.... Ups and Downs all the time! Those ups and downs can lead us "fluffy" people to stuff our faces. Because lets be honest.... you don't get fat if you hate eating! Our weight issues are intrinsically linked to our emotions, whether they are good or bad makes no difference. So however you justify it, "Lets celebrate! Lets go to dinner!" "I am so sad, I need some ice cream!" "I am so stressed at work, I need some beers and wings": STOP! I know the temptation, I lived the temptation, I SURVIVED the temptation! You can too! Just remember... you have to choose your hard.... Would you rather be fat or losing weight? It really is that simple....

Months three and four- The Holdays!

You might be wondering why these two months got grouped together... It is because the holiday season covered these two months of my diet! I am going to discuss them together since I learned about and overcame (or not) the same obstacles for these 2 months!
Month 3-


During month 3 I upped my total weight loss to 40lbs! I had reached my first mini goal and felt AWESOME! However, this covered Thanksgiving which obviously posed its own challenges for me and my diet. We flew to New York to spend Turkey Day with Kyle's family and had a great time! But have I mentioned that Kyle's family is Italian?? They LOOOOOVE their pasta! And lets be real.... I do too! But that is part of what got me into this mess in the first place! So We got some apples and yogurt as that is my standard breakfast and I vowed to not over indulge in anything. Shockingly, IT WORKED!!! I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted... but in a very small portion. It was the first holiday that I can remember actually being able to see some of my plate behind all of the food! Instead of two heaping spoonfuls of green bean casserole (with loads of cheese and fried onions... YUMMY!), I just allowed myself 2 tablespoons. Not only did I still eat what I wanted and felt full at the end of it all, but I did not experience the food coma I usually felt at the end of a holiday meal. HOT DAMN! It seemed like I was really on to something here!

Well, a couple weeks went by and I finished up month four-

Now I was down a total of 49.5lbs and really starting to look different. (I know what you are thinking.... you looked different IMMEDIATELY! I know that I did... but to me it was this month that I realized I was getting a nice waist back!) I tackled Christmas with the same plan that I tackled Thanksgiving with and all went well. It was challenging because now I was at home with my mom and all of the comfort foods I have known my whole life! Mom got me all the fruits I requested and did her best to make it easy on me, but sometimes the smell of sausage made me want to throw myself through the kitchen window! (Yes, expect to still have cravings even 4 months into your diet!) During this time we celebrated Christmas and New Years which also covered our engagement! Exciting, ABSOLUTELY! Did it lead to cheating? Absolutely.

These two months posed more challenges for some obvious reasons.... the ones I listed above are the obvious ones. The biggest challenge that I did not expect during the holidays was the effect that it had on me when my plan worked. This whole time I have been dieting and waiting for the fallout when all of a sudden I hit a plateau and I stop losing. I went through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years and I was STILL LOSING! Why? Because I stuck to my plan! Why was this a challenge you ask? Well.... this is when I realized that my "unattainable goal" was not so unattainable after all. The minute that you realize that you can eat what you want, as long as it is in moderation, and still lose weight, that is when a light bulb goes off in your head. For me it came at the end of month 3, for you it might be sooner or later than that.... but you will KNOW when it happens. The problem with that, is that after that realization it is very hard to stick to your diet 100%. It is working, your diet and exercise is paying off, but even when you are allowing yourself to indulge you are STILL LOSING! Your mind says, "well I can be really strict with myself and lose LOTS of weight. But if I slack off and eat what I want I can still lose more than I used to." There is no version of shutting yourself up quite like biting the head off the cookie.... but you HAVE GOT to find a way to silence that thought! This is NOT the time to slack up! Now it is time to put the hammer down and FOCUS on the long term goal! If you start slacking up now you will never reach your final goal!!!! So man up and ask for support from someone, hell, ask for support from me! But get people on your side and remove the temptations so that you can get re-committed to the plan.

After two months...

After two months I had lost a total of 26.5lbs! So exciting!!! I could see a difference and felt HOT again! I was seeing big numbers each week and I was working hard to make the right choices with my food and trying to stay active with riding. Here are a few of the challenges that I faced during month two:

Cravings- I cannot begin to explain the cravings you will feel. They come on fast and they come on HARD! I am not someone who has ever really had major cravings but starting in month 2 I sure did! Imagine the worst pregnancy cravings and them multiply that my a million. All I can say is STAY STRONG!!! But LOTS of sugar free gum to pacify your cravings and drink lots of water.

Willpower- Now is when your will power will be tested. Sure, you got through the first month, you lost some weight and that is AWESOME! But do you have the resolve to stick with it? YES YOU DO! Remember the results you have seen, they will come slowly but you just have to put the hammer down and dedicate yourself to changing your life! We all have our own reasons, for me it was wanting to look good when I get married, wanting to be able to a)have kids and b) actually be able to play with them, and wanting my body to stop hurting so much from the sheer pressure of the extra pounds I was carrying around with me all the time! What is your reason? Now is the time to figure it out. And don't set goals like, "my 10 year reunion." That is simply too short term! What happens if you get to your goal for the reunion and then you fall off the wagon and gain 30lbs and then you run into Miss Prom Queen circa 1999 (or 2009 or 1989 or 1979)?? All of that hard work would have been for nothing! Look at the bigger picture and decide why you want to do this for yourself.

Cheating- Yes, this goes hand in hand with will power but this topic is so vital that I feel it deserves some special attention. Cheating will happen. If you are new to this then you might be shaking your head and saying, "not for me it won't! I am too strong for that!" Trust me and know that I am saying this with all the love in the world when I say, yes it will and you are not too strong for it... no one is! Allow me to share a comical and sad story with you....
During this point of my life I was bringing lunch to work almost every day. On this particular day, however, I forgot my lunch and decided to go to Subway. That is a good decision for those "break the glass" moments. (I hate to sound like a Subway and Biggest Loser advertisement, but the fresh fit meals really are great. A 6" turkey sub on wheat with apples and a bottle of water for around 300 calories? SOLD!) So I go and I order my food and while they are bagging up my sandwich I walk to the fridge and get my apples and water out, pay and head out the door. My plan was to make a phone call so I thought I would just sit in the car to talk and eat. So as I am eating my sandwich and talking on the phone to my mom I reach in the bag for a napkin and to my absolute HORROR...... there is a COOKIE IN MY BAG! A FRESH BAKED COOKIE!!! Oh my goodness! What kind of A-hole puts a freakin cookie in your bag without asking if you want it?!?!? Didn't they see that I ordered off the FRESH FIT MENU?!?! If I wanted a cookie I would have ordered it!!! (Obviously I am still a little traumatized by the "cookie incident." Let me just tell you, there is no test of willpower quite like a warm chocolate chip cookie. I put the cookie to the side and went on with my sandwich. I thought about it while I was talking to my mom and decided I would take it back to work to give to my pregnant friend. Pregnant people love cookies, right? Well, so do dieting people. And you might not have heard your food speak to you before, but 6 weeks in and 20lbs down and that cookie is BEGGING to be part of your meal. How do you silence the cookie??? You bite its damn head off.... that's how! And that is EXACTLY what happened! I took a big bite out of that cookie and then chucked the rest of it right out the window!!!! Judging from the look on a nearby woman's face, I must have looked like a lunatic! After all, I just threw out a perfectly good cookie! Who does that?! I do... that's who! I knew that one bite was not going to kill me or throw me off my plan completely... but I knew that I did not have the willpower to only take one bite. So I chose to remove the temptation. (Remember the lesson from last month??? It still holds true!)

Moral of the story- Cut yourself some slack! It takes time to retrain your stomach and your brain. When you REALLY crave something.... give it a few days to see if it will pass and if it doesn't then give yourself a bite of whatever it is. It is hard to limit yourself to one bite of anything, so if you are not strong enough then it is best to avoid it all together. But I have found that if I am really craving something I am more likely to binge if I resist it for too long. But do not let that one bite turn into 2 and then 10 and then "well I will just have a cheat day." Stay on track and REMEMBER to focus on the goal!

After one month....

NEWS FLASH- Dieting sucks. I know that I mentioned this before... but seriously... it is not fun at all. However, it is incredibly rewarding. Here is a month one recap-

So after one month I lost 14lbs! WHOOOO HOOOO!!!! I was super excited to be on my way to being a skinnier and healthier version of me! I started riding horses again and was really enjoying myself. It was a workout without thinking of the work. I have ridden horses my whole life but had to take a break to be part of "corporate America." Or so I thought!! As it turns out... you really can make time for anything that you want to. I certainly used to have time to go out to the bar with my friends, so I just re-prioritized things in my life and made sure that there was time available for the things that are important to me. No more excuses!!!! That first month wasn't all rosey tho! Here are some things I learned and challenges I had to overcome-


Dieting- Yes this seems like an obvious challenge, I know. But when you have really committed to losing the weight, it is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one.

"No"- Learning to tell yourself "no" is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced! As a fluffy girl I knew what I was doing (or so I thought) and I was going to make the decisions that I wanted to make. And if that meant eating 1 or 2 (or 5... but who's counting, right?) Krispy Kreme donuts, so be it! I am the master of my own destiny and the master of my own waist line. (Or so I thought....)As hard as this step is... STICK WITH IT! Do not surround yourself with people who will try to lead you astray.... right now you need all the support you can get. If start out cheating, you will NEVER see the results that you want to see!

Caffeine Hangover- Yeah that's right. I gave up all caffeine cold turkey. I do not drink coffee often so soda was my staple. I could easily drink 6 cans a day.... while at work! Let alone if I had some at home! This was a choice that I made and was not suggested by my Dr. But I know that caffeine can lend itself to cravings and I did not want any part of that! I will say that there were moments that I felt like a drug addict. One of my co-workers would pop the top on a can and it would send me into a frenzy! I made BBQ sauce one night and wanted to use just a tiny bit of diet soda for flavor so I had Kyle buy me one bottle so I could use that. After all, I didn't want extra cans floating around! When I opened that bottle it was like the sky opened up and I could hear the angels singing. (Apparently dieting can also make you mildly crazy.) As I am prone to having mental battles with myself, I started the inner dialog. "Just put the cap back on it and walk away." I was successful, I did that, but I could not stop thinking about that damn soda sitting on my kitchen counter! It was a personal challenge to not drink it. Then I realized that the challenge was not ignoring the soda. The challenge was being comfortable pouring the soda out. You have not made a lifestyle change yet.... so cut yourself some slack and do not surround yourself with impossible temptations. Does that mean don't go to lunch? No- but that brings us to the next topic.

Eating out- Scary.... very scary. Since we know that in real life you cannot plan for EVERYTHING... here is what you do in real life- If you are going out to lunch with friends, work or on a date, set the place in advance and look at their menu online to decide what the best choice would be for you and your diet. Do not be afraid to be picky. Ask for your salad with dressing on the side and no croutons. You think they care? No! Order things that are grilled as often as possible and instead of heavy sauces ask that they use herbs. You still get great flavor but without needless calories. I also suggest going into these places chewing a piece of gum, this pacifies the desire to chew and it also keeps you from grabbing at the appetizers the evil non-dieters might order.

The worst and the start

Yeah so what kind of weight loss blog would this be without PICTURES?!?!?!
The picture with Brewtus shows me at my biggest. From that point I lost 10 lbs and that is where I started with this journey. The pic of Kyle and I at Disney shows me just days before I started dieting for real! Since there were several months between the first 10 and then starting again, I am not counting those in any of my totals.

My Choice

When I saw my fat Dr. the first time, he told me he wanted me to eat 800 calories a day for the first month. My jaw hit the ground and all I could think was, "I am pretty sure I had that for lunch yesterday!" He provided me with a list of foods to eat and foods to avoid. He also taught me a few new things about my diet and what I should be doing as well as a very simple exercise plan. Though I did not stick with the 800 calories a day and I decided against taking the phentermine that was offered, I did stick with some of the principles that he introduced me to. (On a side note- As far as diet drugs go, to each their own. My decision was this- why take these drugs to lose the weight and then be faced with keeping it off without the meds? It sounded like a recipe for disaster to me!!!) Below is a list of some of the parts of my diet:

- I count calories every day. Seriously. If it passes my lips then I put it into a calorie counting website. Even when I cheat or splurge it STILL goes into this site! After all, how else will I REALLY know what I am putting in my body?
- I eat a fruit or a veggie with every meal.
- I do not eat processed carbs with breakfast. If I eat a bagel, then that is the only thing I will burn off all day... I would much prefer to burn off my thighs instead!
- I now drink skim milk, fat free yogurt, fat free sour cream.
- Cut out red meat with the exception of VERY lean cuts. I pretty much only eat chicken, turkey, and pork with veggies.
- I cut out almost all processed carbs. ie- pasta and bread. When I do choose to have these things, they are always whole wheat and it is a rare treat.
- I drink AT LEAST 2 Liters of water a day. I know what you are thinking, yes... I spent half of my day in the bathroom at first. But your body gets used to it. I bought a gallon pitcher and I keep it on my desk so I do not have to get up to refill my glass. I also gave up drinking Soda which was a HUGE change for me! I was a self proclaimed Diet Coke junkie! I could easily drink a 6 cans a day. I quit drinking them all together at first and now I have maybe one a month as a treat.

So here is the hard truth that all of the diet specialists and trainers won't tell you- Dieting is hard. Dieting is not fun. If it was fun and easy then everyone would be skinny. The hardest part is learning to tell yourself "no." In this case, you are your own worst enemy. It is so easy to think "oh it's just one cookie" or "oh I will just have a few beers with my friends." Until you know what effect that one cookie or those few beers has on your body, its easy to not count them as part of what you had that day. Now when I look at a cookie, I know that I could have that OR I could have a grilled chicken breast with asparagus and a salad for dinner. I will be honest with you, sometimes the cookie is really worth it! But I make that decision consciously and I adjust my diet for the rest of the day accordingly.

It is not the worst thing in the world for you to go hungry for a little bit. You won't actually starve. Trust me. Americans as a whole have become such major over eaters that it is a MAJOR change for us to eat a smaller (and healthier) portion size. Our stomachs are stretched to a point where you will feel hungry from time to time as you make this change in your life. My suggestion- Suck it up, drink some water, and deal with it. I do not subscribe to "eat when you are hungry," because lets be honest, that is what got you in this position in the first place! Do not misconstrue this.... I am not advocating starving yourself.... but I am saying to give your body a chance to get balanced again. Ask yourself this, "am I really hungry or am I just bored/nervous/sad/depressed?" We eat for such a variety of reasons that we almost do not know the difference any more! Drink some water, chew on a piece of sugar free gum to try to curb the hunger and then eat a healthy, normal meal later. For instance, I no longer snack in front of the TV. If I am really hungry I commit to eating in the kitchen. That way I am satisfying my hunger and not satisfying my boredom. When we look at food for its nutritional value and not for its comfort level, we make better decisions.

Defining "Choose Your Hard"

My friend Casey and I have been dieting together since 9/15/09. That was our D-Day. Casey was one of my best friends in high school and we lost touch during college, then came together again in 2003 after we had both graduated. Back then we were still fit, tho not the slender versions of ourselves that we had been when we graduated high school 4 years earlier, we were still pretty darn fit. You could find us on the bar dancing and drinking away until all hours of the night every weekend! It was great to be young and alive with the excitement of being with our friends!

Well, when I moved to Tennessee a few years later, we had a falling out and lost touch again. It was not until Circuit City went down and I was spending some of my unemployment time with Kyle at my family's beach house, that we became reconnected again. Ironically enough, Casey had worked at Circuit as well, but since she was in the financial division she saw the writing on the wall long before the company tanked. Not me tho!!! I remember saying, "I am going to stick with this ship until it hits the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic!" In retrospect, this was probably not the best decision I have ever made. That aside, everything happens for a reason and this brought Casey back into my life because she was offering to help find me a job. Well, though she did not get me a job we spent alot of time discussing how things have changed and how we both got fat!!! (FYI- if you are uncomfortable with the use of the word fat, I suggest you either get over it or delete this blog from your mind all together! I use the word fat because that is exactly what I was! God love those of you that want to say I wasn't, but for me... self acceptance, awareness, and acknowledgment is part of this process.) Admittedly, Casey had better reasons for her body changes than I did, she had twins in the years that we were not talking! HOLY COW!!! But both of us candidly admitted that the spare tire we were carrying around was more a result of Big Macs and beer than anything else. So we decided to take a stand and make a change and in September we both started dieting and reporting our results to each other. Those of you that are friends with my on Facebook know that I have also been "keeping myself honest" there as well, but this is all part of my process. Casey and I had both tried to lose weight on our own, and now we were each others diet buddies. We were going to be brutally honest with each other, call each other out, support each other, and knock some sense into each other when necessary.

I cannot take credit for the blog title as it is something that Casey heard along the way, but it is so completely true that I have adopted it as my life mantra. "Choose Your Hard!!!" In this scenario, consider this- Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard, and maintaining weight loss is hard. Choose your hard. It really is that easy!

If you have ever been fat, you know how hard it is. Many people feel trapped, embarrassed, and uncomfortable in their own skin. I have been here! It is sad to go clothes shopping. It is sad to go to theme parks because it is uncomfortable to fit into the seat. You hate flying because you hate knowing that as you walk down the aisle there are people thinking "please don't sit next to me, I don't want to be squished for this whole flight!" You wonder if this is the time that you will need a belt extender to make the belt fit you. You cannot wear the shoes you want because the weight has started to hurt your joints from the sheer pressure of it all.

As hard as it is to be fat, it is even harder to make the choice to lose the weight. You have to acknowledge the problem and confront it head on. There are lots of people who diet without ever addressing why they have gotten to the point they are at and without being honest with themselves about how big of an issue it really is for them. For me, the hard part was setting a weight loss goal that was almost 100lbs from my current weight. As big as I was, it seems that everyone underestimated what the scale was actually saying about me. It is a blessing and a curse because even tho no one knew how bad it had gotten, I did. I still had to face that scale and deal with all of the emotions that entails.

Maintaining weight loss- This one I am projecting my ideas on, since I have not reached that stage yet. But I know that when you get to the goal there is an instinct to want to celebrate. I mean.... you just reached your GOAL WEIGHT!!! (I have one main goal but I have set several smaller goals along the way) It is so hard to settle down into the rhythm of keeping the weight off. The goal is different, the rewards are less obvious. This what they mean when they say it needs to be a "lifestyle change" (but we will get into that more later on).

CHOOSE YOUR HARD

And so it begins...

So I have spent alot of time sharing what has been going on in my life recently. I have used FB as an outlet but I thought I would take the inspiration of my friend Sarah and begin a blog. One of the ideas I have toyed with recently is becoming an inspirational speaker, so this might be the first step down the path for me.

For those of you that don't know me, and some of you that do, this will begin as the story of my weight loss journey and who knows where it will go from there! After all, I won't need to lose weight for forever!!!

In September I decided to go see a "fat dr" here in Charlotte. Now, he prefers to be called a Bariatric Specialist, but lets call a spade a spade.... I have NEVER seen a skinny woman in his office. I have told him that he is my "fat dr" and he is ok with it, especially when I tell him that one day he will be my "skinny dr." I will tell you all what I told him and hopefully that will help catch you up!

"I am the story you have heard a million times... I used to be skinny and fit. I rode horses and worked out every day. For that matter... it was fun! But then something changed... I do not know how it happened, or when it happened, but I felt like I woke up one day and I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. Please help!!!"

So that is the gist of it. Once upon a time there was this skinny and pretty girl named Carrie who rode horses and could do it all. Then she went to college, drank some beer, had quite a few injuries, and then WHAM!!! She was no longer the skinny pretty girl, she had completely morphed into the funny fat girl. It all came out of NOWHERE!!! Now, do you believe that? Because I sure don't! I did turn into the funny fat girl, but it most decidedly did not come out of nowhere. Sure, I had injuries and other issues and stresses to contend with, but EVERYONE does! The point is that when given a choice, I was not making the right decision for my body and for my health. I remember saying, "its just too expensive to eat healthy all the time" and "I just don't have time to work out!" These are valid issues, time and money are two big deterrents, but they can be overcome if you REALLY want to! So going forward you will see how my choices have changed... some of these will be in retrospect as I am now 6 months into this... but you will be a part of my story as I laugh, love, struggle, cry, cheat, and repent my way through this phase of my life!